Facing Ageism: Stories of Strength After 65

In this engaging episode, we dive into the topic of ageism, challenging stereotypes and society’s expectations around growing older with the dynamic Ande Lyons—a four-time founder, global startup mentor, and host of the “Don’t Be Caged by Your Age” podcast. Ande Lyons, now 69, shares her personal experiences as a tech-savvy serial podcaster and pro-aging advocate, emphasizing the need to be visible, connected, and engaged at every stage of life.

Our host discusses the gendered impact of ageism, especially in media and the workplace, where older adults—particularly women—often face challenges to their confidence and pocketbooks. Ande offers empowering advice for navigating the workforce, reframing senior employees as valuable “tech legends” who bring critical institutional knowledge, adaptability, and intergenerational synergy to the table.

Touching on practical aspects of aging well, Ande highlights the importance of maintaining curiosity, trying new things—like hula hooping or salsa dancing at any age—and advocating for oneself in healthcare settings. The conversation celebrates those in their 60s, 70s, and beyond who embrace fashion, humor, and creativity, while also acknowledging the emotional journey of losing loved ones, staying active, and cherishing each day.

Whether you’re experiencing ageism directly or supporting someone who is, this episode offers encouragement to age out loud and proud, reminding us all that ambition and purpose have no expiration date. Don't miss inspiring anecdotes, actionable tips, and a warm call to reject shrinking with age in favor of fully expressing your unique gifts.

SeniorLivingGuide.com Podcast sponsored by LIVDRY & TerraBella Senior Living

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Transcript

Darleen Mahoney [00:00:00]:

And today I am super excited to welcome Andy Lyons. So Andy at 69 years old is a four time. Yeah, we usually don't discuss age. Right. But we're going to talk about age today. That's all we're going to talk about today actually. So we're going to talk to Andy. She's 69, she is four times founder, a formal global startup mentor, serial podcaster since 2012 before podcasting was super cool, and the founder of the New England Podcasters Group, a monthly in person event for podcasters and host of the popular interview style pro aging podcast. I love the name of your podcast, it's called don't be caged by your age where Andy showcases folks they have to be over 65, shattering age related expectations while helping folks find pathways to fuel their passion, purpose and pocketbooks. So you can continue to thrive after 65.

Ande Lyons [00:01:06]:

Woo hoo.

Darleen Mahoney [00:01:07]:

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much for joining us today. And I have been wanting to talk about ageism because I think it's something that is super important and I think we need to address it, talk about it and overcome it.

Ande Lyons [00:01:24]:

Absolutely. And dismantle it.

Darleen Mahoney [00:01:26]:

Dismantle it, yes.

Ande Lyons [00:01:28]:

First of all, thank you so much for having me on your podcast, Darlene. It's so great to be here.

Darleen Mahoney [00:01:34]:

Absolutely.

Ande Lyons [00:01:35]:

And it's such an honor to be able to chat about such an important topic because not only do we get slapped in the face, literally practically by society with all this, hey, you're not young anymore. So like, we can't handle this. And you end up feeling like, oh my gosh, I'm sorry, but I'm aging to where you're working and you're thriving in a corporation. And they're like, yeah, you're no longer motivated, ambitious, you need to go. And you're like, wait a minute, was there an expiration day for my ambition? But then we have decades of indoctrination that we have internalized that very judgy, very biased. And so instead of looking in the mirror at your age as you get past 65 and going, oh, thank God for another day, thank you. This is so great to be here. You're like, what is with those brown spots, those wrinkles, those barnacles? No one's going to take me seriously. I am so old, why bother? These messages are floating around everywhere. You can't get away from them. So it was really important for me to just start the conversation. Let's age out loud and proud. Let's not shrink with age. Let's continue to take center Stage, let's be visible, connected and engaged.

Darleen Mahoney [00:02:56]:

Yeah, absolutely. And media does that for sure. So especially women. You know, I know it's for men as well, but women more specifically, because it's harder for us to age and men can age all day long. I mean, I remember Sean Connery was back, back in the day, way, way back in the day, was voted Sexiest man Alive, and that's when he did Hunt for Red October, which is, I'm gonna say, like early 90s. Yeah. So he was, you know, completely gray then. And he was a hot tamale. Right.

Ande Lyons [00:03:32]:

And you see these men over 60 getting hot tamales to marry them.

Darleen Mahoney [00:03:37]:

Sure.

Ande Lyons [00:03:38]:

Right. And so. And yet the woman gets discarded. The gendered ageism really is hard. And to be made to feel guilty that you no longer are valuable because you don't have a young, nubile body and face, that's terrible.

Darleen Mahoney [00:03:56]:

Yeah, No, I absolutely agree. So what do you recommend, especially for older folks that are still trying to navigate the workforce? Because I think that that's where you kind of see blatant ageism that can affect somebody's. We talked pocketbook. That can affect your pocketbook and it can affect your entire way of life.

Ande Lyons [00:04:22]:

Well, first of all, we have to adopt the fact from data that corporations with intergenerational employees are more profitable and sustainable than focusing on the youth level. And here's why. As you age, you've been through a lot of crap. Okay. You've had to navigate downturns in the economy, weather conditions that can wipe out situations, all sorts of life events. You've learned how to onboard customers, manage all the tough situations, keep the group going. It's called institutional knowledge. Especially in an industry that you may have been in for decades. But it doesn't matter. You can transition into a new industry and still bring in institutional knowledge because you know how things are done and run.

Darleen Mahoney [00:05:17]:

Yeah.

Ande Lyons [00:05:18]:

And you can be so innovative at any age. But, you know, the 20 year old, the 30 year old, the 40 year old has not had to go through the circumstances and conditions that you have at the age of 60 or 65 or even 55. And that's why it's so important that we have all generations on the team. Because you get jazzed by the, well, what about this idea and what about that idea? And you're like, yes, and, and what we can do when we implement that is we can set up the structure so this won't happen and we can prevent this from happening. Because I've seen that happen before. We don't want that to happen. You see the wisdom that can be brought in. So if you really are starting to feel the ageism from folks around you, managers who have been biased from whatever they've seen from, from either Hollywood putting up movies, showing someone 65 looking 85, to the messaging that, oh, only youth can do this. Which don't get me started, especially social media. You have to start selling, you have to start promoting, you have to start showing that you not only are super comfortable being the oldest person in the room, but you appreciate the other generations that this is a collaborative experience. And you start waving the data. Now, that's not always going to work, darling. Right. The company's still going to want to kick you out, in which case you have to start thinking about, well, how can I be a 1099 employee? Because they're still going to need you. And so maybe you reframe it. Okay, maybe you don't want me at this level or at this salary or whatever, but you know, you might want to pare your own hours down. You might be wanting to work a 25, 30 hour week instead of that six 60 hour hustle. You can start positioning yourself as a freelance employee, a consultant, somebody who comes in as part of the team but gets paid as a 1099 employee that works really well in this environment. So that would be my advice. The data is everywhere. Just can go online and find how intergenerational teams are more profitable and sustainable and start building it up. But it's unfortunate that it's there. But what happens, as I spoke earlier about the indoctrination of our own biases around ageism, we can all of a sudden start to shrink, pull back. Should I be here? What do I know? These young kids, they're on top of everything.

Darleen Mahoney [00:08:00]:

It could be intimidating when you have like younger folks that can zip through programs that you're especially AI. Don't want to get me started on that. But that's something that is a definite learning curve for pretty much everyone, even the younger generations. But because they've been so connected for so long, I mean, they were born with cell phones in their hands, you know, with their binkies.

Ande Lyons [00:08:23]:

I mean, I got to push back on this.

Darleen Mahoney [00:08:25]:

Oh, do it.

Ande Lyons [00:08:26]:

I got to tell you, I got to push back because I, I tell everyone in my age group, older too, we are tech legends. Anybody over 50 is a tech legend. And here's why. We were born before email, before the Internet where we had to actually pick up a phone and communicate with people. We had to Figure out how to use so much different technology, from manual typewriters to electric typewriters to computers. That all happened in the 80s, way before many of the people we're talking about were born. We had to transition from dial phones to push button, to setting up those darn cassette tape answering machines, to managing the vcr. We figured it out. So anytime someone's telling you, oh, tech today, it's too hard. Are you kidding? It was much harder in the 80s. And then in the 90s when we had to learn email, we had to learn how to use the Internet. You know, all those folks are now in their 40s. All right. We are in our 60s. We had to transition that entire time. Plus our generation built the foundation for this technology. One of my favorite stories, I did this post about boomers being tech legends, not tech challenge on Reddit.

Darleen Mahoney [00:09:46]:

Right.

Ande Lyons [00:09:47]:

And it went viral. It was. The comments are. I really want to gather all the comments and put them into historical perspective. One of my favorite stories was a woman who was in her chemistry class at UC Berkeley, and the professor said, and those of you with handheld calculators, you can sit in the back. And she looked at her friend and said, what's a handheld calculator? We have transitioned to being able to do photos on our smartphones, everything. So as much as it looks like the younger generation is really quick and fast, this AI stuff, here's where they fall down with AI every time. They don't know what to ask. They really don't.

Darleen Mahoney [00:10:28]:

So the conversational side of it.

Ande Lyons [00:10:30]:

Yeah. So like a financial model on Perplexity, you've been calculating using Excel spreadsheets since before we had them. So you know what to look out for in formulas. So when AI is creating that document, legal documents, all sorts of other documents, you have a sharper eye. The younger generation is just going to take AI's word for it and you're going to be, oh, no, no, no, no.

Darleen Mahoney [00:10:55]:

I've seen so many mistakes in AI. Yes, yes. I found that very interesting where I'm like, that's not right.

Ande Lyons [00:11:03]:

Yeah.

Darleen Mahoney [00:11:04]:

And I know that. And I'm not even AI.

Ande Lyons [00:11:07]:

So we can put our shoulders back and our chins up and go, another technology we have to adjust to. Big deal.

Darleen Mahoney [00:11:15]:

Yeah, absolutely. And there's so many learning courses. I know that. I've been taking courses for, for the gamut of AI products that are out there just to have a better understanding, because it is somewhat the wild, wild west that's out there. And there's so many, like, I think they call them courses where you can do like 10, just 10 minutes a day so you don't feel like you're being overwhelmed. And I found that to be super helpful and fun and easy to digest.

Ande Lyons [00:11:39]:

Right. And as we say in our household, there's always a video for that.

Darleen Mahoney [00:11:43]:

There is always a video for that. Yes. Or a podcast for that matter. So, you know, a little plug there. But no, I absolutely agree with you and you're right. And I always have made the joke that if the electric grids go down and all the things go down, then we're going to be the ones we can do cursive. They don't understand I can't read cursive. At least. You know, my son writes everything. He doesn't utilize any cursive at all. So it's just strange to me that his driver's license is not cursive. And I just thought that's kind of weird. I thought you had to have cursive as a signature. But not anymore. So. Yeah, and we'll be able to me.

Ande Lyons [00:12:25]:

But you know what's really funny is the. Or fascinating is the folks who are like, I'm gonna go analog for a while. I'm like, okay, good. Do you need any help with that?

Darleen Mahoney [00:12:37]:

Yeah, yeah.

Ande Lyons [00:12:38]:

Try standing in the grocery line or any line and not look at your phone.

Darleen Mahoney [00:12:42]:

I know I did see something on TV the other day where they're starting to open restaurants that are phone free zones. And so there's a place you have to place your phones in the basket in the middle of the table and you are not allowed to pull it out. They offer, you know, a lot of times their coffee and different things and then they have board games and all kinds of different things that they offer if you'd like to do. But I thought that is magical.

Ande Lyons [00:13:08]:

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And, you know, pull out some of those fun cards for conversation starters to find out more about each other, but also get comfortable with being quiet in each other's company and just enjoying the environment and being in the present moment. Woo, baby.

Darleen Mahoney [00:13:26]:

Yeah. It's like when you go to a concert and you realize that more people are FaceTiming and videoing and they're not really enjoying the experience of the concert.

Ande Lyons [00:13:34]:

I know. Yeah. And you know, people, they do anything and you see their nine photos on Instagram, you're like, okay. I think my favorite was when Betty White was on SNL and she talked about how it used to be if people brought you over to show you the pictures from vacation, you were like, oh, no, please don't.

Darleen Mahoney [00:13:55]:

Yeah, yeah, I can remember my dad, he do slideshows. You know, the. The little. I don't even know what they are. The little cartridges with the. With the round thing. And it would go click, click.

Ande Lyons [00:14:06]:

The carousel for.

Darleen Mahoney [00:14:07]:

Carousel. Yes. And he would have my grandmother over and some different folks over, and we'd watch all of our Colorado pictures of, you know, and he was a photographer, so he would take pictures of a flower, caterpillar, you know, so it wasn't always this great adventure of our family, but a great, great adventure of his. Bird's eye view. Yeah, yeah.

Ande Lyons [00:14:30]:

And with a manual camera. So you didn't know if you got that shot until you paid to have that film developed.

Darleen Mahoney [00:14:36]:

Nothing was edited then, either. I know, I know. So every wrinkle, every age spot, every. Everything. Now, I clearly was very young, but everything shows. There's no hiding it. Which I think is fabulous, because I think now because of the ageism, that you can't show or post a photo without using some kind of app.

Ande Lyons [00:15:02]:

Filter.

Darleen Mahoney [00:15:03]:

Filter.

Ande Lyons [00:15:04]:

I have one on my phone.

Darleen Mahoney [00:15:06]:

Yeah.

Ande Lyons [00:15:06]:

And of course, my sons were younger, like, mom, I look, too, with your filter, and I actually do that because I get tired of seeing all my barnacles and my brown spots. I just like, let's just zhuzh that up a little. I'm not gonna go get a facelift. I'm not gonna get any surgery done. So this is what I. You know, I call that my skincare treatment.

Darleen Mahoney [00:15:29]:

Yeah, no, I am right there with you. Trust me. I do a little bit of something, and I just admitted that. But, yeah, absolutely. I think that everyone kind of does do that.

Ande Lyons [00:15:41]:

But on the platform you're using squadcast or what. I use Riverside. They don't have, what. Zoom has Beauty face, and Streamyard has beauty face.

Darleen Mahoney [00:15:54]:

Right.

Ande Lyons [00:15:54]:

Where they just do a nice little zhuzh on your face and you're like, okay, that's good.

Darleen Mahoney [00:15:57]:

This is it.

Ande Lyons [00:15:58]:

So we still, as women, we want to be the best we can be. But, you know, I just interviewed a woman, Linda. Her platform is called Next with Linda. She's 83, and almost every day she is posting a video with her advice for all the ages on how to be, but also about how to grow older. This is something she had to learn how to get it. You know, she gets help, of course, getting it posted on Instagram and TikTok, but there are plenty of other women who are that age and older who are slapping all their stuff on TikTok and Instagram just fine.

Darleen Mahoney [00:16:35]:

Yeah.

Ande Lyons [00:16:36]:

But what I love about Linda, there's no judging. She is like right out there with everything. And I just think it's so important. And I talk about this a lot, Darlene, about how the more visible we are, the more we dissolve the bias, dismantle ageism and get people used to and comfortable with having older bodies around who have a lot to offer, who have, you know, can. They're not just hanging. Nothing that there's anything wrong with hanging out with the grandkids and hanging out in the garden, but they're involved and engaged and they're the oldest person in the room. And I'll tell you, nine out of ten times, it's our own bias that is bothering us. For example, I ran a monthly pitch event here in Boston for three years for startup founders to pitch their value proposition to a live audience. And we had investors, et cetera. It was a great opportunity for them. Very youth centered, the entrepreneurial world. Even though more entrepreneurs are coming in over the age of 50, in that crowd, everybody's pretty much under 40 years old. And I was in my early 60s at the time, about to hit my mid-60s, and I was often mistaken for someone in my early 50s. But I also saw, and I just say it's because my energy, I look my age. Whatever that means.

Darleen Mahoney [00:18:11]:

Exactly. Whatever that means.

Ande Lyons [00:18:12]:

Yeah.

Darleen Mahoney [00:18:13]:

Yes.

Ande Lyons [00:18:13]:

But I would hear gendered ageism and it would show up as, explain your business as if you were telling your grandma. And I would, of course, would want to jump up and go, wait a minute, I have shoes older than most of you here. I have a Bill Blass blazer who could be your grandmother. Cut it out with that. But when I turned 66, I couldn't. I felt like I was living a lie. So I held the Route 66 sign in front of me and took a photo and wrote a post on LinkedIn and said, I'm 66. You know, it's time to age out loud and proud. Ageism and tech is prevalent. Why, why? Ambition doesn't die at a certain age, all those things. But I have to tell you, in that room of founders, startup founders, they loved me. I mean, I wasn't discounted ever. They loved my wisdom, they loved my stories, they laughed at my jokes. You know, I felt like I was one of them. And so I really think a lot of times we're our own worst, worst enemy.

Darleen Mahoney [00:19:19]:

Yeah, I absolutely agree with you. For me, and I've talked about this before, I. Even as I age, I still feel like I'm in my 20s. So I might look different in the mirror, but on the inside, it's very much the same. And I can remember my mom telling me that, as, you know, I kind of look back and I may have discounted her from doing girlfriend things with me because she was my mom, that type of thing, but she loved to be included in that. And she would say to me, darlene, I might be older, I might look older and all the different things, but I'm still 20. I still want to do the girlfriend things. I still want to do all these things. And I really didn't relate to it as much as I do now. And now I totally get exactly where she was coming from. And just thinking to myself, I still want to go out there and do all the things in my 20s. And actually, I probably want to do more now at my age than I actually wanted to do in my 20s because I was raising the kids and doing all the things. And so, you know, the opportunities were

Ande Lyons [00:20:26]:

there in our 20s. We really didn't. And, you know, I was watching your. Your children grow through their twenties, the twenties. Is your brain still forming? But, you know, you're curious, you're enthusiastic, you're passionate. That's, you know, that's ageless.

Darleen Mahoney [00:20:40]:

Yes, it is ageless. You're exactly right. Yeah, I like that. That's a good description of it, for sure. Ageless versus ageism. Ooh, I like that. Yes.

Ande Lyons [00:20:56]:

Meaning, you know, how many years is the. I mean, we need to honor the age, because I have to say, and you'll see this as you get into your 60s and older, you want those. You don't want those decades to be discounted. So a lot of people love to say, oh, 60 is the new 40. And you're like, wait, I just lost 20 years. Those were a lot of really good years. So we really need to hone and own our age and be proud of it. That's why I'm always talking about age out loud and proud. It's one of the best ways also to dissolve ageism is the more people who aren't afraid to say their age. And I'm telling you, I have had women I've invited onto the podcast. They were not willing to share their age. I said, well, you can't be on the podcast unless you're comfortable with that. And they often come back after six months and go, you know what? I'm ready to do it.

Darleen Mahoney [00:21:49]:

Yeah, there's no shame in it. There's no shame in it. I still think it's impolite to Ask per se, but just in case someone is uncomfortable. But I will tell you one thing that I, you know, we were talking about the age differences throughout the years and things like that. The expectations, I mean, have absolutely changed from when my mother was my age. There was an expectation that you wore conservative clothes and you didn't do the things and all, you know, all the things that has changed. So we have come a long way since then. For sure. Absolutely. Yeah. I think to be like 55 and if you want to shop at Forever 21, if you can find something that looks cute and fits, knock yourself out. Absolutely. Yeah. Where that would have been like completely like taboo back 30, 40 years ago. Yeah.

Ande Lyons [00:22:46]:

Well, I interviewed Diane Gilman and Diane was a well known QVC HBC host. Right. Selling products all the time. And when she was 59, she wanted to launch a. She wanted to find designer jeans that fit her older body but still, you know, had a little zhoom to it, a little pizzazz, a little I'm still hot.

Darleen Mahoney [00:23:08]:

Yeah.

Ande Lyons [00:23:09]:

And people laughed her out of the room. And so she said she marched herself right down to the, the, what's it called? District. The fabric district. Garment district. Garment. Thank you. The garment district in New York City found people developed her brand, made, made over, had over 100 million in sales over the next eight plus years.

Darleen Mahoney [00:23:32]:

Yeah.

Ande Lyons [00:23:33]:

With her jeans and they looked great. And women bought them all the time. Because, you know, again, going back to Saturday Night Live, there's that skit of the. The mother jeans. Like you know, just so.

Darleen Mahoney [00:23:44]:

Mom jeans. The mom jeans. Yes, the mom jeans. Yes. Yeah.

Ande Lyons [00:23:49]:

So yeah, we can still do all those things. It's important to, to just wake up and. And of course, what I love online and on Instagram and on TikTok are the women who have incredible fashion sense and they're putting together outfits that are colorful and bold and going out in the middle of the day with these wild outfits on because it's a way of being fully expressed for them. Right. I love it.

Darleen Mahoney [00:24:13]:

Yeah. Yeah. I will tell you one thing. I love fashion and clothes and all the things. I'm very girly in that aspect. And I'm not gonna give in to any kind of expectation of what I should wear. That will absolutely never happen. So there is.

Ande Lyons [00:24:33]:

Congratulations. I love that.

Darleen Mahoney [00:24:34]:

Exactly. Exactly. And then I really do wanna just continue to like live out loud. I'm not afraid to say what's on my mind. I think I'm funny. I'm not particularly probably, but I have some sarcasm notes to me that not always are picked up by, by other people.

Ande Lyons [00:24:50]:

They don't land the way you hope they don't land.

Darleen Mahoney [00:24:52]:

Or how I think I, it's, you know, what I think I'm saying is not how it's being perceived. So sometimes it definitely happens, but I don't want to pull back on that just because I'm getting older. I really still want to be able to live and be who I am without an apology at all.

Ande Lyons [00:25:12]:

And let me tell you, that day definitely happens. In your 60s, you just all of a sudden really stop caring. And also as you get older, you're looking at your watch, you don't know how much time you have left. So then you get a lot more discerning about who you spend your time with, how you spend your time. Right. And so it's a fascinating process. And I just love talking to the folks on my podcast. I tend to highlight folks and spotlight folks who have found a way to fuel their passion, purpose and pocketbook, who have found to a way to, and a pathway to stay connected. And they can have one eye, one arm, one leg. You know, they can have all the physical challenges in the world and still just be like, yeah, I'm excited to be here. I'm ready to get up. I've got something to say and I want to share it in different ways. You know, it doesn't have to be hustle. In fact, we had a great. I love watching these gals on substack. They have a platform called crow's feet and they're all pretty much 65 plus and their writings are fabulous. And we were talking about the energy and we're not talking about grid energy, we're talking about your energy and how it starts to, you start to have to manage your energy portfolio as you age. And what, what, when are you going to, you know, do the hustle or put in a big day when can you take a nap? That restorative 20 minute snooze that just brings you back to life. Or days where you just like, yeah, I'm not going to get there. Not going to happen. And you do you have to put your feet up. So your body, if you listen to your body, not your mind, because your mind might just have you sitting on the couch watching Netflix all day.

Darleen Mahoney [00:27:02]:

For sure those documentaries will suck you right in.

Ande Lyons [00:27:06]:

Well, and this is, you know, this is what happened in 2000 2021. The World Health Organization came out with this study that said retirement has become an epidemic, costing societies billions of dollars. And it's because a Switch happens, and people decide, oh, I'm old, and they start acting old, which means they stop doing things that keep their body moving, keep their brain moving, get. Keep them interested in things. And they can easily get depressed. And all of a sudden, the ailments start coming in. Now they're on a bunch of meds, and they're just really having a hard time moving. Their family's all concerned about them. It affects everyone, and it becomes very expensive. And so if I can do anything to help folks, think about, wait a minute, if I've made it to 65, highly likely I'm going to make it to 85, which means, what am I going to do the next 20 years? Because if I look back 20 years, I did a lot. What do I want to do in the next 20 years? And it can be a whole bunch of different things. You don't have to pick one thing and stick with it. But also, how do you evolve and how do you find ways to be fully expressed? It's an interesting journey.

Darleen Mahoney [00:28:30]:

Yeah. Yeah. We did an episode a long time ago with someone that did. She coached Zumba Gold. She would do it, and you can do it online from your home, and it's still live. You can log in, and then you still do it live. And then she does do it in a. I think she's in south or North Carolina. I'm not sure what. She does have a studio where she's at as well.

Ande Lyons [00:28:55]:

And I thought, this.

Darleen Mahoney [00:28:56]:

This is fabulous, because Zumba is fun.

Ande Lyons [00:29:00]:

Zumba is a lot of fun.

Darleen Mahoney [00:29:01]:

It's a lot of fun.

Ande Lyons [00:29:02]:

Are you kidding? Yeah, it's a lot of fun.

Darleen Mahoney [00:29:04]:

Yeah. Yeah.

Ande Lyons [00:29:05]:

Well, I just interviewed Serena Byers. Serena Byers. I saw her on Instagram doing hula hoop at 68, and her story is fascinating. From ICU nurse to realtor to her doctor saying, look, your liver enzymes and cholesterol and everything, they're a mess. Blood pressure, you got to do something. And she had never. She didn't recall ever hula hooping as a kid, but she thought it looked fun. It kept popping up every time she looked around. So she got herself a hula hoop and taught herself. Now she gives classes. She's in parades. America's Got Talent just had her audition. It's wild.

Darleen Mahoney [00:29:47]:

Yeah. Yeah. I haven't hula hooped in forever, but I loved it. I'm going to have to go get one now, right?

Ande Lyons [00:29:53]:

Yeah. Yeah. So I learned all about, you know, how you can get custom ones made and how, you know, you got to get the right Size. And we had a great conversation.

Darleen Mahoney [00:30:01]:

Yeah, yeah. I used to twirl the baton. Jump roping, you know, all those things that you could still, I mean, the jump roping, I don't, I don't know about, but that might be a bit much. But all those things when you were a kid that are just repetitive and easy to do that, and when you do them, you have this light heartedness and joy that comes with it. And it's just the activity.

Ande Lyons [00:30:21]:

And I want to bring up something else. For listeners who are aging or maybe have aging parents, here's something that happens that you're never prepared for. When you turn 65, you get on Medicare, right? You can have a supplemental insurance, but your annual physical as you knew it, from 64 to back down to 30 or 25 is no longer. You get a pet in the head. That's it. So I created a document on my don't be caged by your age.com website. Just go to the blog page. It's what you need to ask your doctor after 65. And if you ask for these tests, they'll give them to you. But you don't get breast exams, you don't get put in for all, you know, mammograms, everything. You have to ask for them. There's no longer, even if you have the best supplemental insurance, it no longer covers a traditional physical. And it took me about three years to figure out what was going on. And then I sent my doctor a firm letter about that was unacceptable to me. And I did the research. And then when we met a year ago, I was there with my list. I want baselines. Because here's if you don't, even if you don't have an eye doctor, if you have anything happen to your eye, good luck. You can't just go call an eye doctor. You have to be in the system with an ophthalmologist. And you've got to get your hearing baseline. You've got to get the MOCA baseline. That's your memory. All these baseline tests your doctor will not bring up.

Darleen Mahoney [00:32:04]:

You always have to advocate for yourself. I learned, you know, I learned that when my mom had cancer, she wouldn't advocate for herself, so it would make me angry. And I'd go and advocate for her, which would make her, she'd be like, darlene, don't do, don't. No, it's okay. It's okay. No, it's not. It's really not okay. It's really not.

Ande Lyons [00:32:24]:

That's indoctrination of women at that of her age group.

Darleen Mahoney [00:32:27]:

Yeah. Yeah.

Ande Lyons [00:32:29]:

Quiet.

Darleen Mahoney [00:32:29]:

Yeah. Well, she didn't want to upset her doctor or make him think he was questioned. She was questioning him and I was just like going, no, we're going to ask these questions.

Ande Lyons [00:32:38]:

Hey, if someone used the wrong color on your hair or didn't cut your hair right, you'd be going, hello. Same thing. You're hiring a doctor. They have an expertise.

Darleen Mahoney [00:32:48]:

Yeah. You have to advocate for yourself, no matter your age.

Ande Lyons [00:32:51]:

Is she okay?

Darleen Mahoney [00:32:53]:

No, she passed away from ovarian cancer in 2018, so.

Ande Lyons [00:32:57]:

Oh, yeah. What a loss. I'm sorry.

Darleen Mahoney [00:32:59]:

I know she battled for eight years, but talking about ageism, um, she never stopped going when she was always like that. She was a go go, you know, never sat around anything like that. There was no bon bon and stories happening. What they used to call back in the day. But she kept going and going and going all the way up until really, honestly, before she passed away, she was at the zoo with grandkids a few months before she passed away because she was not going to let the cancer a. Define her or slow her down. Clearly she had days, clearly she had months from different, you know, surgeries or whatever the case may be. But for the most part, she wasn't going to do it. She was going to go down. Go down kicking and fighting. Yeah.

Ande Lyons [00:33:49]:

Live life.

Darleen Mahoney [00:33:50]:

Yeah. Yeah. So I really learned from that myself, to kind of watch her do that. And it's just brought me. I'm so proud of her for being able to do that and having those experiences with. My kids were older, but my sister had littles, so just being a part of their lives where they can have those little tidbits of memory and they were fun. They weren't, you know, Mimi, like in bed, you know, it was Mimi at the zoo and Mimi doing all the different things with them. So that's great.

Ande Lyons [00:34:20]:

Yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry, though, for mom and way too young.

Darleen Mahoney [00:34:25]:

Yes. Yes. Both my parents died, 72 and 69, so.

Ande Lyons [00:34:29]:

Wow.

Darleen Mahoney [00:34:30]:

I know. I never thought.

Ande Lyons [00:34:32]:

Every day I see myself in the mirror, I go, yeah, this is a good day.

Darleen Mahoney [00:34:36]:

Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, as. As their daughter, I just never. I always thought I'd have my parents. And you just realize you don't. No, you don't.

Ande Lyons [00:34:45]:

That's a tough one, boy. When that happens, it's like, wait, I'm an orphan now.

Darleen Mahoney [00:34:50]:

Even as an adult, it felt. It felt very strange.

Ande Lyons [00:34:54]:

Well, your backup wasn't there.

Darleen Mahoney [00:34:56]:

Yeah. The unconditional love that, you know, for 100% at least, for me, my parents were unconditional love.

Ande Lyons [00:35:03]:

I'm so happy for you for no matter what.

Darleen Mahoney [00:35:06]:

But, you know, you know, so.

Ande Lyons [00:35:09]:

Oh, what a treasure. Good parents.

Darleen Mahoney [00:35:11]:

I love good parents. I definitely had some great parents. So as we kind of like button up the podcast, is there anything we didn't talk about that you think that, you know, would be beneficial to those out there that are getting ready to fight ageism, that are fighting ageism, and they just really want to feel positive about themselves and just need a little pick me up?

Ande Lyons [00:35:30]:

I'm going to say two things. One of the benefits of my podcast, don't be caged by your age that I didn't even think about are those folks in their 40s and 50s who are not only excited about the fact that they can fight ageism and start thinking, but they were thrilled to know they have all this time ahead of them, that just because the clock strikes midnight on a milestone age doesn't mean they're supposed to stop.

Darleen Mahoney [00:35:58]:

Yeah.

Ande Lyons [00:35:59]:

And all of a sudden, the dreams that they have percolating, but they can't get to them. They've got kids, they've got this, they've got that. All of a sudden they're like, okay, I can get to that. I'm going to have time. Yeah, no problem. God willing, of course. But it was a freedom for them. And then for other folks who are in their 60s and they're creeping into thinking about their 70s and 80s and their 90s, please think about how it's okay to be a beginner again, to learn new skills, do some workbooks, whether, you know, I've got behind me here, don't retire. Rewire great questions in there to help percolate ideas. And if you're sitting there going, I don't know, I don't have any passion, I haven't got any purpose. But I need something to help my pocketbook out. You know, you can go through these processes that help pull out things that could be of interest to you. Just be okay, that you can learn new things. And boy, if you can, strength training, whatever that looks like, is so important for your balance, for staying strong, for mental capacity, everything. Lift those weights in any way that you can to keep the muscles and the bones strong so that you have good balance and coordination during these years.

Darleen Mahoney [00:37:26]:

Yes, yes, I absolutely appreciate that, especially the coordination part.

Ande Lyons [00:37:32]:

I was never coordinated.

Darleen Mahoney [00:37:33]:

I was never coordinated. So I got to work extra.

Ande Lyons [00:37:35]:

So now I'm a little more cautious, conscious about it.

Darleen Mahoney [00:37:39]:

I know, I know. That's why yoga was never my thing. I was like, flopping around on the ground. I could never hold those poses.

Ande Lyons [00:37:45]:

So, yeah, I can never get into them. So I was like, yeah, no, this isn't for me.

Darleen Mahoney [00:37:48]:

No, not for me. Couldn't get out of it fast enough. So. But anyway, well, thank you so much and I'm encouraging our listeners to take a listen to your podcast, Don't Be Caged by youy Age, which is fabulous. We'll put the link in the description as well. So check it out there. And that's available anywhere, right? Spotify, Apple, anywhere, anywhere.

Ande Lyons [00:38:09]:

YouTube, Apple, Spotify. There's a video for that.

Darleen Mahoney [00:38:12]:

There's a video for that. Perfect. Perfect. Well, thank you so much again. And if you enjoyed this episode of the SeniorLivingGuide.com podcast, we can be found as well on any of the apps, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, GoodPods, and really anything Podchaser. And please check us out over 100 episodes like subscribe, follow, download. Thanks for listening.