The Anxiety Avenger's Toolkit: Practical Strategies for Daily Calm

In this episode, we dive deep into the world of anxiety with expert Bonnie Brindle, author of 'Cracking the Crazy Makers'. Bonnie shares her insights on the rising prevalence of anxiety in society, particularly among seniors and caregivers. We explore the various causes of anxiety, from hereditary factors to environmental influences, and discuss how it manifests in our daily lives.

Our conversation takes a practical turn as we examine effective strategies for managing anxiety. Bonnie emphasizes the crucial role of movement and hydration, even for those with limited mobility. We also delve into the power of therapy, meditation, and building supportive communities. Whether you're grappling with anxiety yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers valuable advice and actionable tips.

Tune in to discover Bonnie's five daily practices for anxiety management and learn about her transformative journey from experiencing panic disorder to becoming an anxiety expert. Don't miss this insightful discussion that could change the way you approach anxiety in your life or the lives of those you care for.

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SeniorLivingGuide.com Podcast sponsored by Terrabella Senior Living and Tom Marks, Best Selling Author

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Transcript

Darleen Mahoney [0:18 - 0:54]: And today we are joined by Bonnie Brendel. She is the Anxiety Avenger. She is a psychotherapist, author, educational consultant, transformational coach, and international speaker. Bonnie is the author of the book Cracking the Crazy Makers. Nine Simple Steps to Ease youe Anxiety. We're going to talk today and she's going to reveal how she clawed her way back to a life worth living, one filled with opportunities, health, wellness, and most of all, gratitude. So, so thank you so much for joining us today, Bonnie. 

Bonnie Brindle [0:55 - 0:59]: Thank you for having me, Darlene. It's great to be here. I love this podcast. 

Darleen Mahoney [0:59 - 1:09]: Oh, my gosh, I love hearing that. I love it when my guest panelists have enjoyed listening to the podcast and maybe gotten some nuggets of their own. For sure. 

Bonnie Brindle [1:09 - 1:11]: I definitely have. 

Darleen Mahoney [1:11 - 1:35]: Good deal. Well, I'm really excited to talk about this because anxiety, you know, this podcast is geared specifically towards seniors and the folks that take care of seniors. But we all have anxiety. I mean, it's something that I think everyone can really relate to. And managing it just seems to be more and more problematic. As to really how we go about. 

Bonnie Brindle [1:35 - 2:15]: Managing it, I would fully agree with that. More people are more anxious and showing it in more interesting and sometimes dangerous ways. You know, on the road and road rage and anger and from frustration and lack of trust around neighbors and workplaces and dumping things on family. You know, sometimes when we come home from a busy day and it's just pent up constant stress for a lot of people. So, yeah, anxiety is a real thing. And the number of people on antidepressants in this country for managing anxiety is becoming close to 20%. 

Darleen Mahoney [2:16 - 2:41]: Oh, I 100% believe it. I feel like that's something that I don't want to say they give out like candy, but it's incredibly accessible. And I feel like with like anxiety medication and depression medication, that used to be something that they would recommend maybe going to a therapist before you would receive that type of medication. Now your, you know, your family doctor just writes a prescription for it. 

Bonnie Brendel [2:42 - 2:58]: Yes, it's true. If you approach your primary doctor with some symptoms of anxiety, sometimes you will be written a prescription for an anxiety med without really the background of, you know, what, what are the symptoms and what's behind them? 

Darleen Mahoney [2:58 - 2:58]: Right. 

Bonnie Brendel [2:58 - 3:56]: And then, you know, when we're talking about psychologists and psychiatrists also using medications and there are times and there are issues and disorders which really call for medication. But like you said, it's, it's been the easy answer to hand somebody a med instead of, well, what other ways can we look at. To help you unblock that anxious energy that's stuck in you, that's coming out in all those different ways like anger and frustration and withdrawal, etc. But yeah, we all have anxiety on some level. And it's. It's been a big. There's been a big stigma behind it. It's. It's been seen as a weakness. It's been seen as only a women's issue, but it comes out everywhere. Yeah, we've all, we're all struggling with that to a degree. So the more we can do to release it, release the energy blocks that are behind anxiety without medication, the better off we all will be. 

Darleen Mahoney [3:57 - 4:31]: Yeah. And I think it's also understanding what triggers specific anxieties, like what life things happen that cause someone to go from being chill and calm to having some kind of like an anxiety attack or feeling anxious or stressed out or. Because I know that sometimes someone can be perfectly normal. Walking through the grocery store and for no reason, no occurrence happens. There's nothing unusual. You're just walking through the grocery store and you can have an anxiety attack. 

Bonnie Brendel [4:32 - 5:03]: Yeah. Panic attacks. Panic disorder is really common. And in my 20s, and then the whole reason I became the anxiety avenger is that in my. In my 20s and early 30s, I suffer from debilitating panic disorder, an agoraphobia, literally the inability to go outside of whatever space I felt safe in. And it limited my life incredibly during that time. And so I figured out, which is why I call the book the Cracking the Crazy makers code. I have figured out, because you do. 

Darleen Mahoney [5:03 - 5:07]: Feel like a crazy person. Right. It can make you feel crazy. Yeah. 

Bonnie Brendel [5:07 - 6:01]: Oh, my gosh. Yes. When I, after living with my very interesting dysfunctional family and getting myself into college, thinking, oh my gosh, this is it. I taken my step, I'm ready to go. I'm gonna fly now. I'm in this program. I'm so excited about it. And anxiety packed its little bag and came right along with me. And pretty soon it grew to. To the point that I ended up dropping out of college because I couldn't stay in classrooms and function. And I never told anyone up to that point what was really going on. I just felt. And I've talked to a lot of people who say the same. I felt like I was going crazy, like I was the only one dealing with all this spin in my head. But years later, in my own practice, my own healing, my own practice, I have found there's a whole lot of people who feel that way inside and don't know who to Turn to or what to do, you know? 

Darleen Mahoney [6:02 - 6:38]: Yeah. So what do you recommend? Do you recommend people try to, like, figure out what the trigger is that causes that or what the emotional, you know, what's inside that's kind of happening? Is it something that typically is an event that maybe happened that's causing some of these anxieties, or is it, you know, too much caffeine or is it, you know, I mean, kind of what it may. Clearly some of it can be DNA passed down, you know, just stressful life situations day to day. I mean, there seems like there could be a lot of triggers and maybe it just is understanding what those are. 

Bonnie Brendel [6:39 - 6:55]: You hit the nail on the head. It's. It's taking the space to find out, to figure out what is behind it. And, you know, you don't just sit down one day and say, okay, I'm going to figure this out. And it comes to you. Right? You have to. 

Darleen Mahoney [6:55 - 6:55]: Right. 

Bonnie Brendel [6:55 - 9:58]: You have to work toward that. But let me just read a little paragraph here from my book that defines what crazy makers are, because this might give you an answer to what we're talking about here. Okay, so what exactly are crazy makers? Sometimes crazy makers are the people who raised us or with whom we've lived or worked. They can also be unhealthy belief systems from generations before us that code negativity and fear in us, or they can be traumas we've endured or witnessed that hold us hostage in our pain. The crazy maker's code is the sum of negativity you've been taught to believe about yourself. This code may have been defined and created your sense of self worth from an early age, but it serves no purpose in your current life or reality. The good news is the code can be broken and you can free yourself from the crazy makers that hold you back so you can begin living your very best life. So, as you alluded to, there are a lot of possibilities, and a lot of what we hold on to in our adult life can come from when we were very young. You know, the relationships that we had, whether they were healthy or not, experiences that we had, traumas that we've endured, illnesses, certainly some hereditary. I know that when I think of my own inheritance, my dad was a very sensitive person. He was shy, and I can't say I'm shy now. I was shy as a kid, but I have a very deep sensitivity to certain things. And then you think of people maybe that are on the autism spectrum or even just have some of those characteristics. And I would say that I Do I get overwhelmed by too. Too many people around me at once? Intense lighting, loud sounds? I jump, I have a startle response, you know, that kind of thing. So it got all kind of gets mixed up between, you know, actual heredity and then environment. And when it all gets mixed up in that kind of soup, it can become really life changing. And it sounds really complicated. But then on the other side, Darlene, it's really simple. Anxiety is just blocked energy. We're holding it like, you know, like whack a mole, like. Like prairie dogs popping up and down a hole. We try to tamp it down, we try to ignore it. We do it, we eat it, we drink it, we binge watch it. You know, we do all of these things to relieve ourselves of the. The pressure of that pain coming up. But when we can learn to access it and safely release the blocks of energy behind anxiety, it can be done with little or no medication. And life can be very different, which mine currently is very good anyway. The way I used to live as a younger adult. 

Darleen Mahoney [9:58 - 11:40]: Yeah, I feel like, like with some of my anxiety. Oh, I have more now than I had when I was younger. Even when I was, like, raising kids, I didn't have the level of anxiety. But one thing I noticed for me, that it kind of goes hand in hand. And which I find now, and I used to see this in my mother is my mother, especially as she got older, became a warrior. And I was, oh, my mom is such a warrior. Oh, my mom is such a warrior. And now I see that Darlit is such a worrier. So I think my anxiety goes hand in hand with a lot of people. The worries that I take on, especially, you know, it's so funny because you have young children and you worry, but I worry now more about my kids that are grown and out of the house because I don't have eyes on them. I don't know what they're doing. I mean, they're. I mean, one is married and one is, you know, graduated from college and has, you know, grown and they're doing their own things. But I worry more about them now because I don't have that control that I did when they were in my house. And I could say, no, you're not going to that concert where now they're going to concerts and I don't know what's happening, or they're traveling across the world and going on, you know, big vacations with, you know, going to Mexico, going here, going there, and the whole time they're gone. I'm Worried. And so that leads to my anxiety. So I do feel like the worry and anxiety is going hand in hand. And now I'm seeing where I've inherited this little booger from my mother, which I used to look at and go, my mom is such a worrier. 

Bonnie Brendel [11:41 - 12:23]: Yes. I can see why all of that would happen. And yeah, sometimes people think that the time you're raising kids in the home with you is, is the tough part. But, yeah, they'll always be your kids. Right. No matter how old they get. And like you say, you can't see what they're doing. So. Yeah. And, and even, like, for you and for someone in your position with that type of worry, that kind of energy that you keep regenerating for yourself. Right. You keep, you keep spinning it and spinning it and spinning it and it gets bigger. And then you, as you say, you get, as you get older, you're getting more anxious. It continues to spin and grow when it's given life, when it's not unblocked. 

Darleen Mahoney [12:23 - 12:24]: Right, right. 

Bonnie Brendel [12:24 - 12:39]: And then we talk about, like, when we're talking about seniors, you know, and caregivers looking for what signs they may see in their seniors when things are getting to the point where they might need some assistance. That's one of the big ones. 

Darleen Mahoney [12:39 - 12:39]: Yeah. 

Bonnie Brendel [12:39 - 12:53]: You know, you're, you're, you're a senior, your parent, your friend, your neighbor, it starts worrying about things or worrying about things at a higher level than you might have seen quite recently with that person. 

Darleen Mahoney [12:54 - 12:55]: Absolutely. 

Bonnie Brendel [12:55 - 12:56]: Yeah. 

Darleen Mahoney [12:56 - 13:42]: Yeah. And as you age, you start worrying about all the health issues. You know, your arm starts hurting and you start, or you have too much caffeine and you start thinking, oh, do I have something different? You know, Cause I've got like the jitters. Do I have something going on there? You know, weight changes, you start worrying, you start stop Googling stuff because you'll have like the worst disease in the world through Google. But it's, you know, I think all these things, especially as you age and then, you know, lifestyle, you know, I'm living at home, am I going to still continue to live at home or am I going to have to make different choices? Financial, I mean, you become on a limited income, sometimes you're not able to continue working. All those things. Worry, worry, worry leads to anxiety. Anxiety, anxiety. 

Bonnie Brendel [13:43 - 14:31]: Exactly. And when I've talked to seniors recently and some of the speaking opportunities that I've had where I'm working with folks around expressing some of the things that they've held on to forever, I mean, because as you Know, the. At this point in the world, boomers are between the ages 61 and like 80, and the silent generation is like 80 to 100. So those two generations were brought up with be, you know, be seen and not heard and put up and shut up. Right. And they don't necessarily express themselves about some of the pains that they've carried. And, and in some of my speaking opportunities, I've been, I've been told, well, gee, those folks of that age aren't going to talk about what's going on with them. 

Darleen Mahoney [14:31 - 14:32]: Yeah. 

Bonnie Brendel [14:32 - 15:05]: And I said, well, guess what? That is not what has happened in my world. They start talking a lot. And I've had some incredible privilege to engage with people about some of the deep stuff that they've held on to forever and not ever had anyone to talk to about it and then help them build communities, especially when I'm working with senior living communities, build communities within their own space of people who are starting to talk to each other and share about some of the things and find out those commonalities that they have. 

Darleen Mahoney [15:05 - 15:05]: Right. 

Bonnie Brendel [15:05 - 15:38]: And they're able to unblock some of that deeply held anxiety that they've carried around forever. So it's, it's, it's a huge thing that. And it's not something that we have to be stuck with permanently. That's like my biggest message from literally, agoraphobia. I mean, I, I couldn't fly anywhere. I couldn't take a train at one point. I couldn't leave the house to go back to work. I quit my first, you know, experience in college. I thought about taking my own life. I mean, I was in the hole. 

Darleen Mahoney [15:38 - 15:38]: Yeah. 

Bonnie Brendel [15:38 - 16:31]: And I'm not. And all the. None of those things are true anymore. So I know from my own experience that that kind of huge transition is possible for anyone. And like you mentioned seniors, myself included, I retired last a year and a half ago from a previous career. And, you know, thinking about, oh, am I going to move from the house that I have? That it's not enormous, but it has four levels. I'm constantly up and down stairs all day long. Am I going to stay here for the next 10, 20 years? You know, and my spouse and I love my husband dearly. One of us is going to end up spending time alone. One of us is. So we need to prepare for that. Right. And how do you prepare for, you know, a loss like that? Oh, my gosh. But, yeah. So seniors have really good reason to have higher levels of anxiety, 100%. 

Darleen Mahoney [16:32 - 16:44]: So what is your recommendation? So we Want to talk about how you can alleviate some of that anxiety? And it sounds to me like kind of talking about it and acknowledging it are some first steps. 

Bonnie Brendel [16:44 - 17:57]: Yes. Acknowledging it, even though you think, well, I'm just angry. I'm just frustrated. I just don't talk to people. Like, really taking a look at those habits, like, what. What's really behind it? What makes you so quick to anger? Why do you hang back when you have an opportunity to connect with someone? Right. What is it that when something little happens, like, you know, you break a glass in the kitchen, your frustration boils over what's really behind the level. Right. Of emotion that you have? And then, you know, for me, back in those earlier days when I was really deep in the hole, I reached out to a therapist, which was a much better decision than the other one I was considering. And since then, I've. I've experienced every kind of therapy I could think of. I said, okay, this is great. Talking to this person, getting validation, knowing I wasn't crazy, knowing I wasn't alone, really got me started. Right. And then I followed into some meditation practices, and I improved my nutrition. I don't eat. I. I very rarely eat processed foods. I've never been to a Taco Bell. Let me say. Right. I don't go to McDonald's. 

Darleen Mahoney [17:57 - 17:58]: You are not missing anything. 

Bonnie Brendel [17:59 - 18:57]: I'm sure I'm not. Sorry. Taco Bell, but, you know, and really careful what I eat. I. I hydrate a lot. First thing in the morning, I'm drinking water. I'm moving my body. People need to move in whatever ways we are able to because that's, you know, our lymphatic system needs to drain, our muscles need to get work, our joints need to be oiled, all of that. And then breath practices that I use, I can teach you a simple one in a few minutes that anybody could use here on your call. And times that I spend in gratitude and recognizing the specific things, I'm really grateful for. First thing in the morning, I go through a list. I'm really grateful that Darlene only had a little fever the other day, and she's well today. She's feeling good. I'm really grateful that she's. She's well and happy. And here. Because you cannot simultaneously be thinking in gratitude and be anxious at the same time. 

Darleen Mahoney [18:58 - 18:59]: I agree with that. 

Bonnie Brendel [18:59 - 20:28]: Right. It's a way to start training yourself to not be anxious is to switch it to what. What can I notice right now that's good, that's working, Right? But yeah, all of those Practices. And then I am deeply into energy psychologies like Eft tapping, like Jin Shinjitsu, which are both based on the meridian system that Eastern cultures have known as health practice for literally thousands of years that have not really been accessed in the Western world and certainly not in the US Western world. And honestly, darling, I think a lot of that is based on racism of the past. Like we're not going to consider what these cultures do because they're not like us kind of thing. And, and I really feel like we've been robbed of the opportunity to learn these great energy practices that I use all the time and I work with my clients on that. We've been robbed of those things and they've been replaced by the quick medication that makes money. Right. It makes money for lots of, with corporations and, and drug companies and whatnot. And it, it isn't healing us, it's just covering symptoms. And I don't have to tell you, putting us in danger. All you have to do is turn on your television and every other advertisement is some new drug that has eight side effects that could destroy you. Yeah, this is a real thing, right? 

Darleen Mahoney [20:29 - 20:41]: Yeah, I know that. I've, I have mentioned that. I think we are one out of two countries that has pharmaceuticals advertised on television. Most countries don't allow it. 

Bonnie Brendel [20:41 - 21:24]: Yes, ma', am. That is, that is the case. Most countries do not allow that kind of advertising. Yep. Yeah, we get it all the time. And as a former middle, former middle school teacher, I'm always thinking about the, the 12 year old because when I'm working with adults too, I look for the 12 year old and everybody for, you know, when somebody's dysregulated and they're acting angry and I'm like, what, what happened to that 12 year old that's causing this thing right now? But yeah, having been a middle school teacher and looking back at that age and thinking about those kids watching whatever they watch every 10 minutes, it seems like they're being sold some. Find out about this drug and see how we can help you. 

Darleen Mahoney [21:24 - 21:25]: Right. 

Bonnie Brendel [21:25 - 21:28]: Really? Can't we do better than that? I think we can. 

Darleen Mahoney [21:28 - 21:38]: Right, Right. So you're actually going to the doctor with the drugs that you want versus the doctor recommending the drugs. They feel like it's best for you is what it sometimes feels like. 

Bonnie Brendel [21:38 - 21:50]: Yes. They're sold like drugs seem to be sold as a lifestyle. Right. Not a problem solver for a specific issue that they may target, but as a lifestyle. 

Darleen Mahoney [21:50 - 21:51]: Right. Yeah. 

Bonnie Brendel [21:51 - 22:02]: Try whatever this drug is. And you and Darlene, you'll be at the beach in your bikini and, you know, having a great time with your friends. I mean, that's what it looks like when you see them. 

Darleen Mahoney [22:02 - 22:02]: Yeah. 

Bonnie Brendel [22:03 - 22:03]: Yeah. 

Darleen Mahoney [22:03 - 22:49]: That's one thing that I will say for myself personally that has been great for the anxiety side is the exercise. The more that I'm moving and exercising and keeping my body going, the more anxiety I do not have. Do I still have the worrying side of it? I don't turn off my brain well, so especially as I've gotten older, I just don't. But I will tell you that the anxiety side has definitely decreased significantly with just keeping your body moving. Now, clearly some seniors don't have that opportunity. They may have, they're in walkers or those different types of things, but there's still exercises that they can do that's still going to keep their body moving and hopefully alleviate some of that with the exercise part. 

Bonnie Brendel [22:50 - 22:59]: That is so true. I'm so glad you brought that up specifically because movement is everything. Human beings are designed to move. 

Darleen Mahoney [22:59 - 23:00]: Yeah. 

Bonnie Brendel [23:00 - 23:07]: We were not designed to sit in front of computers. We weren't designed to drive cars. We weren't designed to watch television. We designed to move. 

Darleen Mahoney [23:07 - 23:08]: Yeah. 

Bonnie Brendel [23:08 - 24:27]: And when we are moving, we help remove the toxicity in the, in our tissues. Right. We use our joints so that synovial fluid in joints gets moved around and keeps the joints flowing. And the lymphatic system, really the drainage system of our bodies, if we're not moving, it's very hard for that system to pick up the toxins and move them out of our bodies. And like you say, some seniors have movement limitations. That's a real thing. Most people can move in some way. So even somebody who uses a wheelchair or walker, you, if your upper body, your arms, your shoulders, your back, your abs, all, all these pieces can be moved. Then they can be worked with some weight bearing exercise. You know, accompanying that with good nutrition and hydration. You're going to feel 100% better when your body is flowing than if we just are really sedentary. So yeah, movement. Every morning, first thing I do, either go work out or I get outside. I'm lucky to be able to say I can go out and walk. So I get out in the morning, no matter the weather and I go for a 20 minute walk or so. Just clear my head and get my metabolism fired up for the day. 

Darleen Mahoney [24:27 - 24:57]: Yeah. And one thing you mentioned was the hydration side. One thing I've noticed with myself is that I'm a big coffee drinker. But lately, probably in the Last year or so I drink a ton of water before I hit that coffee. And now I realize I can't even drink coffee now until I've had that water because my body is craving it when I wake up. So I really noticing the big difference. But I still have to have my coffee, so. 

Bonnie Brendel [24:58 - 27:06]: But that's music to my ears. Really it is. Because once you start that habit, your body is going to tell you, excuse me, I'd like hydration first. Because yes, coffee's liquid and so is soda, but neither of those should be considered hydration. Hydration's water, right? That's what our bodies are craving. And in my, in my Soaring Senior source book, the resource book, not my, not my regular crazy makers book, but I wrote a workbook type thing called the Soaring Senior Source Book which is on my website. It explains how to build a habit. That's the hardest part. It's building a new habit. And a wonderful book called Atomic Habits by James Clear outlined habit stacking. So in my source book I recommend to increase the hydration is that every time you're going to put something else in your mouth, breakfast, lunch, dinner, a snack, coffee in your case, every time you're going to put something else in your mouth, drink water first, okay? Stack that habit in front of those other meals and snacks first. And that is one way to be able to build it. Because if we just say, oh yeah, I just need to drink more water. No, we're going to, we're going to continue the habits that we have. But yeah, stacking a drink of water ahead of all the other things can really up the hydration overall. And you know, as, as we progress in our need or the, the feeling that we get thirst, thirsty is decreased as we age, so we don't feel as thirsty. And then often as we age too, incontinence can start to become an issue on some levels for some people. So sometimes seniors drink less because they feel like that's going to be an issue. But the less we drink, our organs, our brain, our skin, everything needs to be hydrated. It's like putting oil in your car, right? If you don't put enough, things are gonna, are not going to be moving smoothly. It's just human, same way, right? 

Darleen Mahoney [27:06 - 27:50]: I will tell you, I used to drink Diet Coke. Like I loved Diet Coke. I would have coffee, then I would have Diet Coke and then I would have some water. But I was a Diet Coke girl. And then I decided I really need to stop drinking the Diet Coke. Now the idea of soda and I Did wean myself off of it, like, years and years and years ago. But when I was done drinking it, I now the taste of it, it's like, just give me medicine because it literally tastes like cough syrup to me. I can't drink it. It's just awful. So you know how your body just kind of just. It's just so crazy because now I just basically drink water all day. Yeah. 

Bonnie Brendel [27:50 - 28:03]: Yep. Me too. And yes, if you. If we give our bodies a chance to reset to what's natural for us. Yeah, that can happen. You can actually lose the taste for certain things. 

Darleen Mahoney [28:04 - 28:04]: Yeah. 

Bonnie Brendel [28:04 - 29:20]: I have a family member who. And I call it an addiction at the level a Diet Coke addiction. This family member has it with breakfast, has it later in the morning, drinks it in the afternoon, has it with dinner. I think once in a. In a recent visit with that person, that would last it about three weeks. I think once I saw them drink a glass of water. What? Yeah. And, you know, all the. Oh, my gosh. All the things that soda does, everything that's. That's artificial. I mean, just look at the. Just take a minute and read the. Read the back of your soda can. This. There's nothing there that the human body was designed to process. Right. And so when we are putting those things, and that can be, you know, food or drink, you know, high fructose corn syrup and colorings and preservatives and flavor blasts and, you know, all the stuff that. Oh, my word. That kids eat. Oh, y. If the body is not designed to process those, then there's all that extra work that the body has to do to move that pseudo food, I call it, through our systems. You know, some of those things that are sold to us are not food, right? 

Darleen Mahoney [29:20 - 29:22]: Oh, 100%. 100%. 

Bonnie Brendel [29:23 - 29:32]: And we need to pay attention to that. Our. Our bodies are sensitive and they. They can. They can do a whole lot for us for a lot of years if we take good care of them. 

Darleen Mahoney [29:33 - 29:48]: Exactly. So before we. First of all, we're going to share the links to your books that you have in the description of the podcast. So anyone listening, rest assured you'll have those links to Bonnie's books, including cracking the crazy makers code. 

Bonnie Brendel [29:48 - 29:49]: I love the name of the book. 

Darleen Mahoney [29:49 - 30:47]: I'm sorry. It's just so fun. The nine simple steps to ease your anxiety, which we'll have a little bit more information on the easing of the anxiety. Because I know we've talked about so many different things here on the podcast, but just to kind of sum up. So if we're dealing with anxiety, we really want to kind of figure out what's causing the anxiety so we can deal with it, not just accept it as a part of life. Because I think a lot of us just go, I have anxiety. And then that's our get out of jail free card. For all of the, I don't want to say bad behavior, but when you're acting out of sorts or you're, you know, you're being mean to someone, or you're just not being polite, or you're just not doing your job or whatever, whatever is going on that that's your excuse or whatever for what's going on and instead of addressing it, you're not dealing with it. So really kind of dealing with it so you can really kind of function better with other people regardless of the situation. Is that kind of what? 

Bonnie Brendel [30:49 - 31:01]: Absolutely. And kudos to anyone who can recognize first of all that they have anxiety. That's the first big step. And no, it's not okay to use it as an excuse. 

Darleen Mahoney [31:01 - 31:01]: Right. 

Bonnie Brendel [31:02 - 31:04]: And okay for yourself or others. 

Darleen Mahoney [31:04 - 31:39]: Yeah. So it's acknowledging it and then finding out what are the causes, which therapy is a great way to do it to go and talk to someone that's completely unbiased because, you know, when you talk to your family, they always have an opinion of someone, some sort or a friend may not be completely honest because they don't want to hurt your feelings. So I think when you go to a therapist, just find one that's a really good fit for you because they're not all good fits. So you really do have to do your research on that, I think, and then find someone that's really going to listen to you and really help you work through those things. 

Bonnie Brendel [31:40 - 33:39]: I'm so glad you said that. That's so important, Darlene. It's hard, you know, when, when we feel the need to connect with a therapist and we're looking for help. It's pretty hard to look at it as shopping, but it is because you're shopping for a really good fit with that person that you feel comfortable with. The person that will validate your feelings and not let you off the hook about making the changes that you need to move forward. When I went to my very first therapist as a 19 year old, I was really lucky. I connected with a young man who was exactly what I needed at the time and could really reflect for me what was going on. And then as I said, oh gosh, meditated. I've read networking groups and coaching and partners work and all the stuff that I've done in addition to the hydration, the movement, the gratitude, the breath work, really committed myself because this is when I was really stuck, where I described being stuck before I decided I wasn't staying there. No, that was not how I was going to live. So it's never too late to recognize that anxiety is what it is to accept it. And then, yes, a therapist is a great place to start. The clients that I work with, I find often are like I was as a younger person, really not understanding at all where the things are coming from. And then when we get to the point of understanding that, that's where people can start to work on all kinds of things, including further therapy, but also coaching and the breath work and the meditation and all, you know, all sorts of practices that might speak to different people. But it's important to hang out with folks that are validating your concern and also keep pushing you in your instructional level to. To take it to the next next step, to care for yourself and not let you wallow in it. 

Darleen Mahoney [33:40 - 33:41]: Exactly. 

Bonnie Brendel [33:41 - 36:13]: It's super important. But yeah, so in the show notes, so there's a link to the book itself, the Cracking the Crazy Makers Code. And. And in that I built a guided journal which comes from reflections and action steps that are written at the end of each chapter and really was a very similar path to what I started to do when I started taking my first steps. It could be really helpful that way. And then for seniors, the Senior Source book is a pretty comprehensive look at nutrition, hydration, social life, volunteering, staying in the game, keeping ourselves purposeful. But I also included the free download for your audience called the five Top Tips from the Anxiety Avenger. And those are literally five things I do every day without fail. First thing, hydrate. Second thing, move. Third thing, gratitude. Fourth thing, breath practice. And I have a level of my practice called wildlife imagery where I go back in my mind when I'm not in nature. I go into nature and I connect with wild animals with certain powers and abilities that I might be looking for that day. Like, if I feel like I need to be protected, I'll. I'll call upon wolf and I'll just see wolf in the natural. In the natural space and, and sometimes talk to them. I even talk to trees. When I go for a walk, I'll talk to trees. They don't walk away. They're really good listeners, by the way. They are great listeners and something to be grateful for. Trees give us shade and oxygen and, you know, stop erosion and all the things. So those Things are there. And then finally, as I've heard you talk before with other guests on your podcast about community, seniors and caregivers need community, need to connect with others 100%, you know, and not be alone. And so I created a virtual community, both one for colossal caregivers and the other one for senior 60 plus. I call Tire Swing Seniors, because we all had a tire swing. Something we could all relate to right this age. Right. But build those communities so that we can connect with each other and support each other and just be real about it. Yeah. 

Darleen Mahoney [36:14 - 36:38]: And we're going to include those links in the description so everyone listening so can click on those. So just real quick on the two that you just mentioned, the communities, what's the website? So if you're just listening and you don't have access to the description or something of that nature, if you're in your car and you don't want to have an accident on the road. Yes, please don't. What's the URL? 

Bonnie Brendel [36:39 - 36:53]: Okay, so where you can find the communities is just to go to my main website, super easy, just Bonnie brindle.com and click on Anxiety Avenger Alliances. Just look for alliances on the top. 

Darleen Mahoney [36:53 - 36:54]: Okay. 

Bonnie Brendel [36:55 - 36:58]: Of the, of the homepage and that'll take you to both of those. 

Darleen Mahoney [36:58 - 37:15]: Okay. And it's Bonnie Brindle. B R I, N D, L, E. That's correct. Just to clear. Just to clarify the spelling there. And she is the Anxiety Avenger. So thank you so much for joining us today on this podcast, Bonnie. It's been great. 

Bonnie Brendel [37:17 - 37:36]: It's been my absolute privilege, Darlene. And this is my third act of work in my life that I am putting this out there to help seniors and caregivers be more supported, safer, and enjoy the third act in their lives as much as I'm enjoying mine. 

Darleen Mahoney [37:36 - 37:54]: I love that. That's perfect. That's a great sign off too. Thank you so much. Thank you for listening to this podcast episode. If you enjoyed this podcast, we can be found anywhere you enjoy music or podcasts. Spotify, Apple Pods, good Pods, most anywhere you listen. Thank you for joining.